FYI: Not All Trans Guys Look the Same - and That's Okay

As part of our My Body is Not Your Business campaign, the Comics Youth Safe Spaces squad have been serving supportive reminders that all of our bodies are beautiful and worthy - whatever the size, shape, ability and pigmentation - and no matter what messages mainstream media may suggest to the contrary. As James puts forward, this message is one that often gets overlooked when it comes to portrayals of the transmasculine body…and it’s something that needs to be challenged ASAP <3

Body expectations can be a difficult topic for trans people. For many of us, it’s a battle to feel comfortable in our own bodies, which isn’t helped by constantly being compared to cis bodies. As a trans man it’s been helpful for me to find other guys online that I could relate to, but over the years I’ve noticed that there are still certain expectations put on trans bodies by our own community. Most of the trans men that I see online are:

· White

· Post-surgery and on hormones

· Slim and young looking, or extremely muscular

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, however it’s not an accurate representation of the transmasculine community. When I was younger, seeing all of these men gave me hope that I could transition to look the way I wanted to, but it also made it seem like this is what everyone’s transition looked like; this is the “ideal body” that we all strive for. While I may be able to relate to these guys, not everyone will be able to.

Where are the fat trans men? The trans men of colour? The disabled trans men?

No two people’s bodies are the same, just as no two people’s transitions are the same. Some people choose not to go on hormones or have surgery, and some people are unable to for medical or financial reasons (or they have to deal with extremely long waiting lists). While some people enjoy working out and getting really toned or muscular, others don’t. One lifestyle or body type is not better than any other, and transitioning medically or looking masculine doesn’t make you “more trans” than someone else.

Part of me wonders whether the reason we always see trans men who fit this description is because they are easier for cis people to accept. Seeing guys who fit the traditional stereotype of an attractive man makes it harder to deny their gender identities, because they look “authentic.” On the other hand, if they see someone who doesn’t fit this ideal, they are more likely to criticise their transition because “it’s not believable” and “what’s the point in saying you’re this when we can tell you’re really that?”

As disheartening as it is to read and hear these comments, we need to remember that we don’t need the cisgender stamp of approval. There is no right or wrong way to be a man. Our value is not determined by how “cis-passing” we are, or how attractive other people find us. Trans bodies and cis bodies are both incredibly diverse, so there is no such thing as “looking trans”. Even if there was, why would it be a bad thing?

The bottom line is, however you identify, do what makes you feel comfortable in your skin. You shouldn’t transition to look like someone else – you should transition to look like yourself.