Who am I and how did I get... HERE!?
As a twenty-year-old Aries, you will not be surprised to hear that knowing myself does not come easy. Self-reflection comes easy to me, but if someone asks me what I do in my spare time, its OVER.
But for you, Dear Reader, I will try.
So, this blog will outline who – I – am and how I got into poetry! I am from Liverpool, UK. I love my city and the people in it. From the Prins, to the Goths, to the people who have tried it all and didn’t like either. I am always interested by society and the politics of it all. In school I was definitely the angry feminist and to this day, I guess I still am.
I love debates and getting to understand why people think the way they do. This is why I started my first blog at 13 years old. Don’t worry, it wasn’t Tumblr- it was Wordpress. I used my blog to share all my thoughts, questions and ideas about the world I was so new to yet wanted to believe I understood so well.
My blog was called ‘Soul Notes’, sound familiar? I would, quite literally, upload little notes of feelings, right from the soul- on to a blog that reached only a few people. I think it was really just my close friends reading what I posted on there, but I loved it anyway. That blog started pretty much everything for me. I met my Girlfriend, who I have now been with for four years, because she messaged me to tell me she loved my blog.
My ‘Soul Notes’ blog was also the space where I stumbled into poetry. Without sounding massively pretentious, I don’t think I ever chose poetry myself; I think it found me through some subconscious way of thinking. (As I type that I realise there’s no way to say it without sounding massively pretentious). My writing pieces slowly started to take form, being punched with the space bar and creating rhythm with every rhyme. Poetry has always felt very natural to me, whenever I’d feel something or want to explore a thought deeper- a poem is where I’d go to do that.
I loved English at school, I even went on to study it at University for a grand total of… a few weeks but studying poetry didn’t guide my style in anyway really. I think when you grow up working class and further marginalised- academia doesn’t feel like it’s ever for you.
My poetry is shaped by nature, the queer experience, romantic imagery, being a woman and an activist. My poetry reflects a lot of my own life- but is written in a way that it could be about yours. I love how poetry can be anything that you want it to be. If I wrote a poem about the stars and you saw your lover in there, then it is a poem about your lover. Perspective is what makes poetry so magical, and I always love hearing what people take away from my writing.
You could say my poetry is an extension of my natural curiosity for the world and everything that comes with being human. How messy and wonderful it is to only understand things after they’ve happened, or after your find that rhyming word that just fits perfectly.
It took me from 2013-2018 to feel confident enough to make my own poetry page and take my writing seriously. I had an internal struggle of wanting to keep a hobby, just for me, and knowing that I could probably make something of this. I think most creatives in a capitalist society are torn with knowing when to sell your work, and when to just keep it for you.
With hundreds of messages from my partner, friends, family and lovely strangers on the internet, I made my Instagram page, ‘soul notes poetry’. I began to sell commissioned poetry pieces. I loved doing this more than anything I’d done before. People would message me asking for a poem for their loved ones, for funerals, for weddings, for birthdays. They’d describe a memory they wanted to include and exactly how much they care but didn’t have the words to say it themselves. It was a beautifully rewarding thing to do.
However, in 2020 I closed my commissions page and began focusing solely on my own poetry. The more I posted my own pieces, the more lovely feedback I was getting! That is when I decided I was going to publish my poetry book.
it’s been a long journey of self-doubt and exploring what my own style is, but I’ve loved every step of the way and who knows, maybe my style will change again, and I’ll look back on my book, just like I do with my old blog, and see how different time can make me.
To anyone creative, wondering whether to start the thing or share the thing, do it. This is your sign to just DO. IT. I had no idea that little blog I made when I was 13 would kickstart such a whirlwind of wonderful creativity and amazing opportunities.